Two Sides, One Soul
by Crystal Renee
Summary: Kind of a sequel to my one shot 'Ever Haunted', this is Battousai talking about being inside his rurouni counterpart and what he really thinks about it.


Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. I wish I did. My dreamworld says I do. but we all know that's not reality!!!! I could never be that creative and come up with that...  
  
Authors Notes: GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! This is insane!!! I can come up with ideas for another one-shot story, but I'm totally bone dry on 'Coming Of The Dawn', my chaptered story. GRRRR!!!! And what's weird is this idea came OUT OF NO WHERE!!!!! I just thought of it and BOOM!!! I had to write it down. So, lets see how this goes. again, this is MY opinion on feelings of a character, you can disagree if you please. And let me know what you think!!!!!! And this is kinda like a sequel to my 'Ever Haunted' one shot, so read that one too please!!!!  
  
~Two Sides, One Soul~  
  
I live inside the shell of another person. Yet, we are the same. I was once the most feared in all of Japan, one that no one wished to cross paths with. I was the Hitokiri Battousai, the manslayer, the assassin with no mercy, no remorse, no feeling. Hiding behind chilling amber and gold eyes, living by the blade of my sword and drawn on by the blood that I shed. The lives of those I slain were great, and now, after a long reflection on why I could only see in red, black, and white, I have come to atone for my sins.  
  
I have become a rurouni. I'm now clad in a fushia gi and white hakama pants, carrying a blunt bladed sword in order to protect instead of annilate those in my path.  
  
And yet, this is not me. That is the Rurouni. I am the Battousai. We both live harbored inside the man named Kenshin Himura, each fighting for control of the man. Of course, I always found a way through. That was before Tokyo. That was before I had lived inside this rurouni for 10 years. Now, this rurouni I am part of has better control.  
  
All because of Kaoru Kamiya.  
  
He loves her. He won't admit it. If I had control, she would already know. It is obvious that she loves him. Stupid rurouni can't take a hint. But he keeps me harbored inside his mind and heart. I'm chained up. He won't let me out.  
  
He's afraid I'll make the same mistake again, and I know it.  
  
But I won't. He still needs me. He is still a strong swordsman, but there are times when his limits in speed aren't enough. And at times, he has let me come out. To protect this woman we have both come to long for and live with. And everytime I come out, she finds a way to bring the rurouni back.  
  
And in a sense, I thank her. For it is then that the rurouni and I mix, and are the strongest we can be. It is then we can both protect her with adding to my sins that plague the rurouni and myself.  
  
I know he keeps me harbored for more reasons. It is, in a sense, to protect me from killing more innocent lives again. It is, in a sense, to stop me from making mistakes I made in my young life. The rurouni is wise and kind, I am cold and deadly. But, we may be two different people, we are living with the same soul, in the same man, both plaguing his mind and haunting his life.  
  
At some time this has to end. Or both of us will drive him insane and in return, we will be too.  
  
I was killing myself inside. Every death I brought when my hand hit the hilt of my sword, I mourned for. I bled for them inwardly, knowing all the while this was not how I wanted to help those in need of it, but being too blind and foolish at the time to realize it. I made many mistakes in my life. I'm still haunted by the ghosts of my past, and I bring that to the life of this man that me and the rurouni roam in.  
  
People come for revenge. The rurouni tries to protect. I seek to destroy yet at the same time hate the thought. It would only eradicate more of this man. I wish to come to peace with the rurouni so he can live in peace. To forget my sins I forced upon his life.  
  
Even if I am the Hitokiri Battousai, don't wish to destroy more than I have unless it is necessary to protect those I love.  
  
I am a part of this man, this Kenshin Himura, formally known as Shinta Himura. another soul that lives harbored inside this man of the age of 28. So is the rurouni. But we all make up his soul, the soul of the man that smiles while he does the laundry and cooks for Kaoru, Sanosuke, and Yahiko. I am a part of the man who was taken in by Hiko Seijuro and trained in the ways of the Hiten Misturugi Ryu. I am a part of this man.  
  
We are all one soul. Two sides to one soul, torn by the misfortunes that have met him. But not anymore. Now. now we will mend. With the help of this woman, one day, will be one side yet again.  
  
Authors Notes: I'm sorry if that was all confusing, but it was an idea that hit me and I had to write it!!!! Do you like it? Is it totally stupid and retarded and is junk and should have never been written in the first place?! Please tell me your thoughts!!!!! Maybe I could even get the Rurouni's thoughts on this... Oh!!! For those of you reading this on Fanfiction.net, I have another story called 'Midnight Skies' on Tales From The Meiji Era. It's a really good site filled souly with Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction and other goodies. You can go there and read my other story if you'd like. It's under the same pen name that I have on this site.  
  
Thanx for reading!!! 


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